If the person you love makes the world seem larger, you’re on to something. If they shrink your world, beware. (Inspired by Madeleine L’Engle)

What you love about someone can also make you crazy. Be sure you can live with the flip side.

You cannot be responsible for someone else’s happiness. If they tell you that you are, they are making you responsible for what you can’t control. Don’t buy into that.

Don’t keep secrets or tell lies. Beware of those who do. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you aim for honesty, you are on the right track.

Real love makes you want to be your best self.

Real love makes it easy to be faithful. You may be tempted, but the thrill will not be worth the pain you’ll cause yourself and the one you love.

Real love doesn’t involve many up/down, either/or, win/lose power struggles. Real love leaves space for “and” more often than you might think is possible.

There has to be room for both people to do some of what they want. If there isn’t, beware.

Do not use your partner’s weaknesses against her.

Do not take advantage of your partner’s best qualities.

Don’t hold grudges or keep score.

Attention is the most basic form of love. You should not have to fight for it.

Strive for reciprocity.